he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
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Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
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k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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