the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
