I love black thongs
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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