I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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