You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
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My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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