A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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