We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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