I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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