So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
did i just pee glitter
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
