My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
