I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
