yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize