Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
