every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
