lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
