I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
