My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
