please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
