I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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