I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
