Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
