i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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