i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Quick, to the slutcave!
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
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