ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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