he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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