he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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