you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
