Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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