that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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