Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
