No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
