Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
