I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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