So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
