What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize