blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
