If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
