i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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