worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
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handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
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I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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