dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize