Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
