Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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