I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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