White coat. Heels.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
