Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
