Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You ruined the universe
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.