i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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