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OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
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