Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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