that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
