New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
