You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
