dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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