I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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