Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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