No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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