Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize