I'm going to jail i love you
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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