Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
