Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
