some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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