As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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