Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
