My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i drank out of a bidet.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
