did you get engaged???
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
