No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
