I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
