If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
