i love accidental penises.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She's the barista slut.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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